Friday, January 6, 2012

Observations on The Bachelor

I watched The Bachelor. Let me justify this act: So the break got the best of me. Boredom set in, and I was caught up on all the New Girl episodes. 

My observations:

First of all, the entire concept is a bit strange. Think about it--let's get a bunch of twenty-somethings who all claim they are ready to find "the one" and throw them in a house together. Let them wear more makeup than clothing. Put one attractive single guy in charge of narrowing them down, eliminating them one by one until he finds the woman he wants to marry.

If you didn't watch the first episode of that season, it's OK. The rest of the post will still make sense. It may, however, make you throw up in your mouth. Don't say I didn't warn you.

My first impression was that everything was so fake. That's a crazy way to describe reality TV, I know. This makes me doubt everything! So if love isn't like the scripted movies... is it really that awkward and shallow as reality TV and nobody notices?

All the girls (contestants?) seems so nice in their intro videos. Each one makes me say, "aww, she's so cute and unique!" They talk about their life, and then there's a wide shot of her walking the streets of her home town, in a breezy blouse and short shorts, taking in the sights and sounds of her surroundings...

But then I see them on the show and I'm so disgusted. There's so much cady drama and competition. Like really? It's a bit over my head. I know I would hate to have all that competition. You have to be loud and if you don't stand out, the bachelor won't give you a rose. (That means she gets to stay in the house longer.)

All this begs the question: What if he don't like forward, brash women? Is that a qualification to be the bachelor? 

If I wasn't in an amazing relationship filled with mutual understanding and respect, I'd find myself getting extremely self-conscious about my flirting (not to mention my own pensive strolls). Because every girl acts so weird when she flirts. Do I look so awkward? Do I endlessly comment and stroke guys' hair and recite meaningless rehearsed pick up lines? Do I throw my head back and laugh just because I want him to think I'm a funny gal?

I'd like to think no, especially since I'm not competing with anyone for Sam's affection. (And I can say that with some certainty.)

There's a lot of squealing and "sexy!"
There's a lot of crying.
There's a lot of walking. You know, the kind of strolling that humans do all the time--hands in pockets, deep thoughts about love and life bouncing around in your head, all the while looking gorgeous, completely oblivious to the camera following your every step.

One good thing:
There is a girl named Elyse, and that's my middle name. That's cool.

Back to weird things:
How long did it take them to think of their first entrance? One at a time, each girl walks out of the limo and greet the bachelor. (I think his name is Ben. You'd think I'd remember after 1 and a half hours. But I was just trying to get the girls' names down.)

Some are kind of cool, but most have these weird quirky pick up lines that try to both to attract him and make him remember something unique. For instance, the law student girl was all, "the verdict is in... you're guilty... of being hot!"

(All they talk about is how hot he is. To fair, that's all they had to go on the first day. And that's really all he said about them. Because that's all that matters.)

Another girl just walked right by... being cool. She didn't talk to him. Not a word. Guess what? She didn't get a rose. Sorry hun, you might have to study up on the grammar of body language. And before you tell me she's a just shy girl, I'd like to refute that shy girls don't give guys looks like that.

Most of the girls blended together to me, despite their clever first lines and crazy attire. I can't tell them apart because most of them look the same. Usually I do remember if they're a blonde or a brunette though. To viewers of previous seasons: Has a redhead ever been on?  Now I'm curious. I also wonder why they are all white. No Asians or Hispanics or Blacks? 

One last thing:

The model is the ugliest girl there. And she kind of looks like Ursula when she comes up onto dry land.
She kind of acts like it, too.

Oh, and before I forget, one more good thing:
A girl showed up on a horse! She was cool, too. She seemed natural, and real real, not just reality real. So far, anyway...

I don't know if I want to watch the rest of the season. But I am curious how this grandma lady fits in. (Ya, there was a grandma. I'm kind of confused.) 

Starting on Monday, I'll have school to keep me busy, so I won't have to resort to watching reality TV. Say yay!


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