Sunday, September 4, 2011

Breaking the boundaries of my fear


 I left a few tears along the grueling sunflower-lined 13.1 miles I ran on Saturday.

First, I was tired and cold. I knew something was wrong when I hopped on the bus and realized I was the only person who was without a jacket. I was in a tank top and my short shorts. (I expected it to be really hot!)

But it wasn't hot; I could see my breath once I was at the race start. They were serving coffee, and even thought I don't drink coffee, I just got a cup so I could hold it. It helped warm me up.

I was talking to a lady before before it started. She had run 12 marathons and this was her 12th 1/2 marathon. She said, "Not to scare you, but this is one of the harder halves I done."


I was about to burst into tears, but as most of you know, I just can't cry in public. I just can't. Nope. My body does not allow it. So instead I just kept shivering.

I suddenly realized that I did not want to run this race. I didn't want to do it.
It was like a rollercoaster ride where as soon as you sit down, you realize that you don't want to ride the ride. But this I wasn't strapped in a cart that was going to take me on this journey whether I liked it or not.

I was 13 miles away from home, and I needed all my will power to get down.

Then the race began! The first four were all uphill. Grueling, knee-scraping uphill. But at least I was fresh, right?

I don't want to recount every one of the 13 laborious miles, but I would like to say that it was pretty long and boring. There were moments when I felt so great, and so powerful. But most of it was enduring and trying to push through.

It was strange to be at say, mile 6 and think: "Man, I just did a 10k. Now I need to do it again."

My nose was doing the same thing as my legs. I seriously considered asking one of the random people on the side of the road for a tissue.

My knee wasn't hurting like it had a few weeks ago (and subsequently caused me to cut back on training.) I hurt everywhere, but that was more just exhaustion.

When I came out of the canyon, I saw my dear sisters there cheering me on. Then they joined me and pepp-talked me through the last 2 miles. I'm so glad they were there!
There was chaffing (ya, it's awful) and nasty. There were, what should we call them? We'll call them "adverse  bathroom side effects," (And by the looks of the portopotties, I wasn't the only one...) and emotions that would put a pregnant woman to shame! All of these I did not quite expect! But it's all part of the experience, right?

Today I have been so stiff. I do feel accomplished, even if I am hobbling around like a lame pony. 

Yesterday I also saw Mary Poppins. That was magical. I didn't know what to expect, but I was well pleased. 

It was also the last time I'm going to see my cousin Katelyn before she goes to BYU HAWAII! Yes, she's super lucky. Next time we'll meet is Christmas time!
Kristen is going to BYU I and so I'll see her a bit more often... but not much.

My sister is going to Weber, but I hardly ever get to see her either. Ugh. Why must life separate me from my most beloved cousins? We have all picked different Universities, but we stay close.

No comments: