Thursday, January 7, 2010

On Love

Why do people make a distinction between their “love life” and just “life?”

Falling in love is such a wonderful process. I am not sure I’ve felt it completely, but after a few bitter tastes in my mouth I know what it is not. I have difficulty describing it except in poetry, and even then I don’t think I’m doing it justice. I am puzzled and fascinated by love. Feeling it changes me. The most marvelous quality of love is that it is not a solitary act. Two people must be involved. Right now I’m in the midst of defining love and being in love and dealing with love. I’ve been doing this for a while and I think I’ll be lost wandering around the concept for a long time to come. I don’t think I want to be done anytime soon.

Love at first sight? How absurd. Why would anyone want to fall in love in an instance? Falling is better than simply “being.” I’m falling in love right now, and I expect I’ll be in an eternal romantic freefall my entire existence! I would not want to compress all of that into a split second. I would not want to experience it with only one of my senses! I want every fiber of my being involved in the transformation. I want to be aware of every step, of every change. I want to relish and savor every moment.

Perhaps some people want to find a soul mate, and they want a confirmation of sorts. That’s why love at first sight seems so appealing. However, the concept of soul mates is a curious one. There are 6 billion people in this world. Of that, about 3 billion are the gender I prefer. Probably half are ineligible due to age and marital status. Oh wait, I want to marry a Mormon. There are 13.5 Mormons. Half that—about 7 million. And I forgot--he needs to be a returned missionary. There are about fifteen thousand full time missionaries world-wide and 80% are male. So out of twelve thousand young men, only one is destined to be with me? The odds are better than 1.5 billion, but still. How could I date all those young men and find the right one? There isn’t just one person for me. There are certainly boys that I like better than others and that are better for me. But I firmly believe that with hard work and love, any relationship will work.

That’s part of the joy, really. I have a choice about falling in love. I can choose that person. What an exciting decision that is, too. I don’t want it determined for me by some other power, (although much of love should be accredited to divine intervention.) I get to figure it out. I get to feel rejection, I get to have some lonely nights, and I get to be successful once and a while.
Sometimes there is confusion and doubt. There will be times of longing and hardship, but I am sure that real, pure love is a constant source of comfort during the hard times. Doesn’t love hold our world together?

Let’s have a little faith in love. With patience, it all will come. Everything will work out. Love will find you as long as you’re not hiding from it.

From an ever hopeful,

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