New Year, New Adventures

GLoW IN THE DARK CUPCAKES! Well, not really. But close.

All that matters is that they taste good. And look cool. January though, I am back to muffins! This is good because muffins are easier because they don't have frosting, and bad because they don't have frosting.

We had a black light party (and thus the cupcakes). I wasn't even mentally prepared for the new year. I don't really know what there is to prepare for, but somehow I don't feel ready for 2012! I am pretty sure that this will be the next best year of my life.

Many exciting things will happen this year, like:

The end of the world
I'll graduate college
Elder Helms gets home
Elder Hill gets home
Elder Hoye gets home
Elder Webb gets home
The Hunger Games comes out
The Hobbit comes out
Brave comes out
The Woman in Black comes out

...and other adventures. Bring it on!

-Meg

And I forgot to mention that the pictures are courtesy of my dear Sam.

A dose of perspective

That was some game, wasn't it? Go Utes! It was much better than last year's game... I'm so happy we won by a landslide. I love love love love love football.

It was super weird because as I made that link up there I was all: "Holy whoa my life has changed so much in a year!" Because it has. My life really does just keep getting better. (Except for my hair. My hair was awesome and long back then. I want it back!)

Today at church everything was so surreal and wonderful. I felt like I was learning everything anew. A Tongan elder spoke in our ward and I thought of Elder Hill of course, because about half of his companions have been Tongan and he teaches a lot of Tongans who live in Fiji. The missionary talked about how he found the gospel and how much it means to him. Maybe one day one of the kids that Elder Hill teaches will be a missionary. I needed a good dosage of perspective.

Oh, and today I hurt my butt really bad... but that's beside the point.

What I really want to talk about is this:

This is the Rivalry Chrony for last weekend.

We created quite a stir, which is what we do best. I just want to say that I'm glad we have freedom of the press, and freedom to bash BYU. 

OK, so some of the articles were questionable, but we weren't stupid. I laid out news and that was surprisingly controversial (Well, the douchiest college story wasn't a surprise. But besides that...)

I also want to say that I totally made that headlyne up. 

I love my job.

-Meg

Elder Hill is over the hill

One year ago today, my best friend became a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He'd been an unofficial missionary for a long time before that.

I wish it hadn't taken me a year to realize how brave this man is, because he left everything to go serve the people of the South Pacific. His task has been hard--he has learned about four languages and has run out of water on his island a few times. He wears a sulu (which he insists is not a skirt) everyday.

I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that I have the strength to survive without him, but I have also learned how much I need him. It's an interesting juxtaposition.

He never hesitates to tell me when I'm doing something stupid. He always led the way in being outgoing and kind to everyone. He reaches out to everyone to make them feel welcome. He practiced his music for hours and hours every day and loves to share it with everyone.

He is an amazing person and I can't wait to have him back. But while he's gone, I'm getting better at cooking, dancing and making friends. I've learned I can do hard things, even when my best cheerleader is 6,000 miles away and letters take three weeks at best to reach me.

I'm so glad that he kept himself worthy and strong so he could go. His mission has blessed my life. It has not been comfortable, but it is so worth it.

Here's to another year. We're halfway there!

-Megan

Not Really

Re-breaking in my sandals. ouch.

Slowly but surely, the earth is blooming and ruffling its feathers. Warming up. Waking up.

Elder Hill's favorite season is spring. Because he's spending two years in Fiji (and other various areas in the South Pacific), it's hot all year. That sounds nice (and I bet it is) but I know I would miss all the seasons. Yes... even blasted winter.

I haven't heard from Elder Hill in three weeks! And there was no email this week. I have no idea why. But his birthday is coming up soon, and I need to mail something for him. It will arrive late, but we're used to this delay. To communication in sl...ow...mo...tion...

I'm going to be nostalgic, mmmkay?

So Elder Hill's turning 20. I was thinking what a nice age 20 is. It's comfortable. I can't go to bars, but I don't really drink anyway.

What? I "don't really drink"? I don't drink AT ALL! I'm Mormon!

One time, someone asked Paul if he drank. He said, "not really." Later he regretting saying that, but we laughed about that a lot anyway.

In other news:

Somewhere between studying verb conjugations and twittering, my hot pink knock-off sharpie marker got on my monitor. Soy triste.

-Megan

This is Megan on breakup

Oh, and here comes Meg's hidden anger. I just want to punch a cactus or something. I couldn't tell you why, but I just do. Everything is frustrating to me at this moment.

I know that I am so impatient. I want my cruise to happen now. I want to get a letter now. I want school to be over now. I want Elder Hill to be home now.

Now

Now

Now

(wow, that's a weird word when you say it a lot.)

Speaking of Elder Hill, I found this:

So I bought this:

Old Spice Fiji = gold. Now my room smells like guy. Wonderful, considering my newfound, boring single status.

I don't know if Elder Hill even remembers me anymore, but he does send me letters... like one every month or so. Not good for my impatient demeanor, but better than nothing.

I think my frustration in myself will subside with time, and accomplishing all the homework I have to do during Spring Break. Did I mention I am on Spring Break? Because I am.

-Meg

A Few of My Favorite Things!

Happy Birthday Joseph Smith!

Happy 6-month Mark Elder Hill!

Happy Christmas Adam Everyone!

Above is a Christmas miracle. You probably can't tell that that is the back of a present now, can you? You probably thought it was the front side of the wrapping paper... smooth and continuous pattern.

Nope.

That--dear readers--is the seam. It lines up perfectly with the other edge. I freakin' love wrapping presents.

'night!

-Meg

I'm not too tired for this...

Today is the fourth day in the last month of the year of two thousand ten in the year of our Lord.

Do you know what that means?

I went on my first date with Brian 1 month ago.

Mmmmm yes, I have learned a lot about myself (and about this amazing person) in the last few weeks. The main thing is that I am in love with Brian. It's a good thing to learn.

I know what some of you are wondering! But what about Elder Hill?

Well... I don't know.

Good thing I do not need to know right now. I just know that I love being with Brian, and I love him. And I feel I need to tell the world about this. Because it is so fantasical and magical. And a lot of other adjectives that have eluded my sleep depraved mind.

Good night, folks!

-Meg

A Post about Post (I love getting mail)

Yes, I received my first letter(s) from that random little island in the Pacific from that random little best friend of mine.

I promise I'm not obsessive. But who wouldn't be excited by mail from sunny Fiji?

This post is brought to you by the nice man who fixed my computer over the phone in a matter of minutes. He is my hero.

From sunny Utah,

Megan

I am happy, even if my stomach isn't.

Ugh.

I'm so sick of sandwiches. So I give in and pay for Chinese food.

Which is good until an hour after you've eaten it.

Ugh.

Turns out, half-way across the world my best friend is also sick to his stomach. But his illness is much worse than mine. He has thrown up several times, but luckily it was on a P-day, right? Poor Elder Hill.

Oh how I dislike Mondays. It's cliche but oh so true. The days and weeks are long. But I have strength to do this! I do, I do, I do!

I want to go to Fiji but I can't. I'm still going to be happy as happy can be.

Isn't this a cute poster? I want it.

-just little old (meg)

Missings Happen

Late night post.

I really need Mr. Hill tonight. Not Elder Hill, but Mr. Hill.

I don't want him to come home, per se.

I just need to talk to my best friend.

I am strong, and I'm doing alright.

But there are sometimes when I really would like to see him.

That isn't want God wants, though.

And that is why missions are hard. They are blessings because they stretch us and we become better people. Better, patient people.

It happens. One day I'll get to see him again!

-Megan

100

This is post 100.

I cannot believe I've actually written this many posts.

I'm proud of myself.

I'm also proud of these boys:

Elder Hoye is going to Ventura, Cali. He will be speaking Spanish. He leaves Wednesday.

This is Elder Webb. He's going to Albuquerque, New Mexico. (I'm going to have to learn to spell that.) He left last Wednesday. {this means he could have crossed paths with Elder Hill, who left yesterday to Fiji-land}

I cannot even tell you how much these three Elders have influenced my life. And the great part is, they'll continue to do so, even when they are out in the big wide world, teaching people about the gospel of Christ. I'm so proud of them.

On another note:

The Lion King musical is one of those musicals where I walk out of the theatre so entranced and awed that real life ceases to be seem relatively important. Reality is too boring and dull. The colors aren't sharp enough, the music isn't soulful enough.

Take me to Africa! I want to run with the lions and sing and dance to African music! I want to go so bad! (Is it any wonder that Heart of Darkness is one of my favorite books of all time?)

Needless to say, The Lion King was one of the highlights of my life. I love magic like that. I cry sometimes, when I see shows of this magnitude. They are over too fast; their beauty is so fleeting.

That's why I use all my creative power to be imaginative and child-like. Because who wants to ever really grow up. Not me. I want to be so creative that the ordinary becomes golden. I'm always imaging this or that, and let me tell you-- it's worth it. I'm so tired of being practical and stoic. I want to be an emotional, passionate person my entire life.

-Megan

All sorts of exciting

Holy Whoa! I deem the first week of school a success.

Looks like working at the Chronicle is going to consume my existence, but I'm alright with that.

I love copy editing, but it's grueling mental work. The trick is to not necessarily know ever grammar rule, but to be attentive to spot where there could be an error, and to know where to find the answer. But anyway, I don't want to bore you with the subtle nuances of editing.

On the other side of the coin, page designing is a taxing session of creative gymnastics and larger-than-life tetris. I justify playing tetris now by saying I'm practicing for page designing. Heck yes.

Syntax and phonology blow my mind, although we're in the slow beginning stages were we have to define everything, and that's getting old. I'm ready to jump into the thick of things!

Choir is going to be sublime at the very least. To be singing again feels wonderful.

I received Elder Hill's last letter from the missionary training center! He's off to the land of Fiji. He's so excited, and so am I. I'm nervous for him, actually, but I know things will be great.

And tomorrow... I see the LION KING! My childhood fantasy is about to be fulfilled.

-Meg

Much Ado about Shakespeare

Dear Shakespeare,

I love you. I love that you never ONCE say "There are no words to describe how I feel." You always have words.

But you left me more than words.

You left me people. I see myself up there, reflected in those characters and I that frightens me but I don't care. I give the actors the credit they deserve, but you are the one who wrote them there. You gave them people and places to interpret.

You make me miss Elder Hill. Oh, he is Benedick. Benedick is he! I was doing so well at hiding and suppressing everything. I was distracting and stiffening myself until I saw Benedick and Beatrice and Shylock and Pip and Biddy and Portia. Now I'm an emotional catastrophe. I'm emotional and romantic. I watched 2 chick flicks today! (Actually they were rather dull and utterly boring compared to your work, but, after all, romance comes in all colors.)

"Serve God, love me, and mend"

"Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humor? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married."

There are many more quotes, and I will find them as I reread this play. I am sappy and romantic and tired. And there are shooting stars that are all the easier to see in all the darkness of the country.

-Megan

Too Much Thinking

It's only 8:20 p.m. and it feels like a late-night post.

Already I've run 10 miles this week and I'm exhausted. My head hurts and I feel achy, but that's okay. I have been by myself all day and that is nice. The Importance of Being Earnest. Frankenstein. Light in the Piazza.

A long nap.

Ramen Noodles with an egg.

Chocolate cake.

I have new running shoes, and I really need a letter right now. Saturday I'll get one, I'm pretty sure. I always get nervous when I know one is on the way. I never know exactly what he's going to say. I know he'll probably talk about how much he loves God and how much his testimony has grown-- just like every missionary does whether he means to or not. Then he'll tell me about Fijian, and then he'll sign his name. The last two letters have been that way. But it's a letter all the same.

There are a thousand poems in my head, and not one will fall enough for me to catch it and make it beautiful.

Today is a day when I miss Elder Hill so much. When I was in Provo we drove past the MTC, but I had to tell myself that he wasn't there, that he was already in Fiji, because knowing he was right there but that I cannot see him is too much for me, and I'm trying not to be too attached and I'm trying not to talk about him so much. If I don't think about him, then it won't hurt so much, but then what about when he comes home? What will that be like? I'm so worried about something that will happen in such a long time, and here I go rambling about things that don't matter and that I cannot do anything about!

Too much thinking is not advisable. It is not good for one's health. Sorry about that rant. I really need to stop.

-Megan

Gushing about a Letter

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever! Okay, it's been like a week.

I blinked, and Independence day came and went. I worked the entire holiday weekend. I did manage to fit in some excitement, like the Sandy city fireworks with a new friend.

I had a huge paper due yesterday, so that is one reason why I haven't written. You know how when I write papers, it consumes me so much that I burden everyone I talk to? Ya, see this post and this post

I got a letter from Elder Hill yesterday! I almost didn't get it because the 4 in my address looked like a 9, so it got sorted incorrectly. I was at work when the mailman came, and my grandma, bless her heart, went out and talked to him. She asked if there was a letter from an elder in Provo, and he said he was sorry, but there wasn't. He left and went about doing the rest of his route. Then he saw a letter from Provo, and thought it might be mine! So he walked all the way back to our house. He asked my grandma, "Is her name by chance Megan?" It was my letter after all! The mailman asked where he was going, and my grandma told him Fiji, and he said that he was excited to get to deliver mail from Fiji eventually.

I was so happy to receive a letter. He says everything is great and that he loves it! Most of the letter was devoted to explaining pronouns in Fijian. I love that kid. [sigh] It wasn't a long letter, but I can tell you, at that point I would have been happy if he had just written my name on a piece of paper and sent it to me.

So even though I had this huge essay, I wrote him back this HUGE letter. I felt bad because I didn't mean for it to be so long, I just couldn't help it. I reassured him that he does not have to write back the same length at all because I know he is crazy busy.

I dropped off his letter at the post office on my way out to run. I was on such a high that I ran for 4 miles! And quite hilly miles too! Now my shins are hurting a little, so I'm taking today off, even though I crave running so much. I don't want to train too hard too fast.

After my work out, while I was taking a shower, I realized that I forgot to sign my name on Elder Hill's letter! I was MORTIFIED! I had printed my letter out, but not signed it! So I signed my name all big and flowery and put it in an envelope. I put a note in there that said, "sorry, sometimes my signature comes late." (It's an inside joke actually-- you know when you're instant messaging or texting and you forget a period or something at the end of a message? Well, we'd always say, "Sorry, sometimes my period comes late.") Anyway, he'll think it is funny.

I know I'm not technically waiting for Elder Hill, but sometimes I just can't help feeling that I am. I definitely miss him with muchness. I'm dating other people, just like he asked. Also like he asked, I'm not telling him about my dating life. (I totally don't get that reasoning, but whatever.)

Okay, now back to homework.

-M

My New Mission!

Well, Mr. Hill, I mean Elder Hill is off to the Missionary Training Center! (The empty sea hehehe)

I thought I was going to much more upset than I actually was. Well, that's not particularly true. The night before he left I did have a MAJOR breakdown. That was a dark night. {shudder}

But the past few days have been superb. I just keep busy doing homework and work, and I have actually been quite productive. I was just thinking... wow, the time is going by so fast! This isn't hard at all!

Then I realized it's only been 2 days... oh. That felt like a month! A fast month, but a month! {sigh}. I just need a musical montage and then BAM! He's home! (That would nice...)

I was insane before, but I'm really crazy now. So sometimes random passions take hold of me and I get these drives to accomplish something. My next mission: TO RUN THE RAGNAR!

If you know me well, then I know you've just burst out laughing. But I'm dead serious. I'm really going to do it next year. I'm making my whole family do it too! They're all much faster runners than I am. We just need to find the rest of a team. (you need 12). We might not get in, because it's really popular, but we're going to try.

I'm doing this. This is my new quest. I'm a goal oriented person, so if I have a set race I want to accomplish, I will do it.

What brought this on? Well people have been talking about it because it was just last weekend. I was so inspired and motivated by their stories. It sounds so hard, but not too hard that it is out of my reach.

Yay! I went running today to start training right now. My first mini-goal is to run the 4th of July 5k. Eeek! I'm so excited.

This will make 2 years go by so quickly!

-Megan

Out of Nowhere-- A Curious Declaration of Love

Oh look, it's 12:07 a.m. Not a bad time, actually, but late enough that I can write a great blog post.

So I saw Elder Hill for the last time. His farewell was amazing! He is such a good public speaker, and his testimony is so clear and simple. "God just wants to talk to us so badly! He's just waiting for us!" He loves talking about God's love. He also talked about his own father.

Ah I love that kid. I really do. But saying "I love you" seems weird, because it's more than anything romantic or twitter-pated. It's a deep, abiding love of the purest sort. It's a caring love. I want the very best for him, oh so much. I don't know how to explain how I love him... this all sounds so horribly cheesy and it just falls so short of what I really mean to say.

Let me try this way: I heard a quote once, "Anyone you truly know, you love." Well, I feel like I truly love Elder Hill because I truly know him. I know his weaknesses, his strengths, his quirks, everything... He is not perfect, he's just Paul. I mean, Elder Hill.

Holy Whoa, I did not intend to write all that about my love for him! Where did that come from? Well inside of me, I guess. And, as you have well figured out by now, I don't really delete things, even though I should. So that proclamation of devotion was unexpected... Sorry, dear readers. I try so hard not be sappy and cliche, but it just happens sometimes.

I really wanted to just tell the world that I am so happy. I am so happy. I am happy. I thought I would be upset and wallowing in a tragic pit of tears, but I'm not. Mind you, I have cried. I have been sad, and nervous. But I have been overcome with a deep sense of peace. I am sad, but it’s a happy sort of sad.

All my emotional space is filled with this peace. The sadness and fear and loneliness are still inside me, but they aren’t as real. They’re nothing more than a slight coloring of the calm inside of me.

I know it may seem strange that I’m talking about emotions like this. I can’t help it. I find it so curious that my feelings are not the center fiber of myself right now. I’m used to them consuming my whole existence.

All I can say is that I feel God's love in my life every day. I do not know the end, but I know it's going to be okay! Everything is the way it should be.

-Megan

** Story behind the picture ** I was lining up to get my picture with the popular Elder Hill. So I go to stand next to him, and before I know it, he's picking me up! Talk about lover's leap! That made me really giddy. (Ah, I'm such a girl...)