Trust in the Invisable

I loving learning by antecdotes. That's why I love blogs so much. Stories are one of my favorite parts of church. Stories are what make the scriptures come alive for me.

I love sharing my own stories. I'm my favorite person to write about. And while I get pretty personal, there are many things that I don't tell the whole world. There are myriad reasons that I don't share, and I can't even tell you those reasons.

You're just going to have to trust that there are good reasons. Some of these invisable, untold stories are the most moving and important stories of my life, but they must remain untold.

Thinking about my own invisable stories can be frustrating, but it has also helped me have more compassion for others. Everyone has untold stories. We have to be OK with not knowing everything about everyone and still being kind to them even though we don't understand their whole story. My mom always said that the people who are hardest to love need it the most.

I've also realized that other people don't think about invisable stories. So they're judgemental and rude. And that's OK. They just haven't learned that lesson in life yet. They will get there.

This weekend has been so wonderful. LDS General Conference concluded today and it warmed my soul and strengthened my spirit. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts with you. I want to start writing more on this blog. Because I have plenty of very visable stories.

-Meg

Speaking

Sam and I are different. Crazy, I know. I love it, though.

I noticed our glorious differences a lot this weekend, especially Sunday. Friday night we were asked to speak just that Sunday! Some good friends of mine needed us to fill in to speak. In LDS wards, members from the congregation are called to speak and are usually give about a few weeks notice, but the scheduled speakers fell through. Sam and I were happy to jump in and speak, even though we didn't have much time to prepare.

When I speak, I'm kind of bold and direct. I sometimes tell personal stories, but I like to talk really loud and gesticulate. My talks are usually declaratory things, almost like a statement or creed. Usually I just write an outline, but this time I wrote out my talk word for word. I enjoyed the time to think out my word choice and more easily integrate my quotes and scriptures with my own words. 

Sam, on the other hand, approaches speaking differently. He is more soft-spoken, and he is gentle about his message. He is humble and isn't afraid to talk about his own life and experiences. He is honest and speaks slowly and clearly. He went from an outline this time, and let himself go with the flow of the spirit.

I'm glad we're so different. As I was watching him speak, I was filled with so much love. I'm so proud of him. I'm happy he's a blue personality and I'm a red. I'm glad that our differences don't cause contention. And on the things that count, we're similar. For instance, we both like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and OJ with lots of pulp. You know, the important things.

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In other news, Memorial Day weekend was delightful. We went to the airshow, got some wedding stuff done, spoke in church, and went to the cabin. It was Sam's first time at our cabin, and it was so fun to show him around.

We dropped Lindsey off at camp. She's a counselor at a camp for girls. She'll be spending the whole summer there, but gets to come home on weekends. I miss her already.

Now it's back to looking for jobs and planning a wedding. It is a stressful time, but I have my family and Sam to help me through.

-Meg

Crazier

So another year of General Conference has come and gone. I love it, even though I fall asleep almost every session.

I love being with my family, and with Sam, of course. There was the perfect mix of sun and rain, comfy and formal.

My days lately have been stressful, but very happy. Finals are approaching. My last finals, for a while, anyway. I want to go to graduate school, but I'm going to work for a while first. I don't know what I would want to go into, and Sam will be in school. I'm really ready for a break from school. I want get in the workplace and do something instead.

I'm still looking for a job, and trying not to get frustrated and discouraged. I wish I had more time to devote to job hunting. But it will come, soon enough.

Wedding plans are coming along! Bridesmaid dresses are ordered, I still get weird looks when I tell people my most prominent colors are cream, ivory, and biege. Just stay with me, people. I have some olive and sage green in there too. Not every wedding has to be hot pink and lime green.

I should also mention that I loved the Hunger Games will all my soul. Because Katniss is an awesome lady, and the story freakin' rocks. And I was with my dear Sam.

This post took me two days to write. Seriously people, I am so wonderfully busy!

-Meg

Not Really

Re-breaking in my sandals. ouch.

Slowly but surely, the earth is blooming and ruffling its feathers. Warming up. Waking up.

Elder Hill's favorite season is spring. Because he's spending two years in Fiji (and other various areas in the South Pacific), it's hot all year. That sounds nice (and I bet it is) but I know I would miss all the seasons. Yes... even blasted winter.

I haven't heard from Elder Hill in three weeks! And there was no email this week. I have no idea why. But his birthday is coming up soon, and I need to mail something for him. It will arrive late, but we're used to this delay. To communication in sl...ow...mo...tion...

I'm going to be nostalgic, mmmkay?

So Elder Hill's turning 20. I was thinking what a nice age 20 is. It's comfortable. I can't go to bars, but I don't really drink anyway.

What? I "don't really drink"? I don't drink AT ALL! I'm Mormon!

One time, someone asked Paul if he drank. He said, "not really." Later he regretting saying that, but we laughed about that a lot anyway.

In other news:

Somewhere between studying verb conjugations and twittering, my hot pink knock-off sharpie marker got on my monitor. Soy triste.

-Megan

3rd Sunday in February.

The lowdown on my Sunday.

It snowed. A lot.

I sang in church. And then I left because the snow was so evil. We were afraid to stay because it was bad. It turns out the snow was quite benign, but it was nice to be home and be with my family. I adore long weekends with such a passion.

We ate delicious food and watched "Inception."

We talked a lot about missionaries. Oh missions. Forever defining my existence. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go on one, by the way.

But first things first. I need to go to sleep so I can wake up and do my homework so I can graduate. Then I'll go from there.

Sundays: always offering a dose of perspective.

Shmalintines day

I knew it was going to be a unusual church meeting when Brian and I got an email asking us if we wanted to be the ward spotlights. Every Sunday in the sacrament meeting program, two people are featured as the spotlights of the week. Well this Sunday was the Couple's Edition.

So Brian and I not only got to write about ourselves, but the story of how we met. And dating tips. This is what we submitted.

About Meg:

I am studying Linguistics at the U. I work at the Daily Utah Chronicle. I was part of the first graduating class of Syracuse High School. Once I was charged by a moose. I have met the Dali Lama. I like unicorns and Harry Potter. My favorite book is probably Little Women. I have read The Elements of Style about 6 times. I once had a fish named Cyrano de Bergerac. He died valiantly after several involuntary fasts. I lost his food when I moved. I have never been east of Texas.

DaSha introduced us. She claimed she wasn’t setting me up, but it was a lie. It turned out alright though. Our first date was on a Thursday, and I had a test the next day so I was nervous the whole date. Our second date was when things really started to click.

We are both trying to not eat meat or drink soda, which is really hard. We both love omelets at the Blue Plate and watching Dr. Who and Community. We both love writing, but Brian’s better at poetry and I’m better at research papers. We are both fans of banjo music.

About Brian:

I was born in Iowa, but have lived in Salt Lake most of my life. I am studying English and writing at Slicktown. I have met Mandy Moore, and there is photographic proof on facebook. I like records and books, and I have large collections of both. My favorite book is A Farewell to Arms by Hemingway. I served a mission in Lisbon, Portugal. I jumped on a moving train while I was there. I love western shirts. Scott Pilgrim is my hero. I play the guitar fairly well. I am a photographer, and have done weddings in lands as distant as Portland, OR.

I put tons of pressure on DaSha to introduce me to Meg. I bugged her about it every day until it happened. When I called Meg, her voicemail said, “Sing your song at the beep.” I sang something rather terribly, and it was absolutely awkward but it seems like it turned out well.

Dating tips from Meg & Brian:

Grow a beard. Wear deodorant. Don’t do all the talking. Don’t talk about deceased pets on a first date. Quote some Shakespeare, but not too much. Try showing up in a hovercraft, that has to be impressive, right? Wear a t-shirt with wolves on it. Most of all, be yourself and don’t worry about it too much.

This is fine. A bit awkward, but cool. We're sitting there and we hear a guy behind us reading the dating tips. He gets to the one about beards and says "I don't know how he expects girls to grow a beard." We giggled.

Sacrament meeting starts. It's pretty average, for our ward anyway. We're not a typical Mormon ward to begin with, notwithstanding the fact that we're in a single's ward. For one, Thomas S. Monson's son is our bishop.

Today he announced that we now have a new committee. The Dating Committee. This is real.

He said that too many young men fall in love with a girl before they even ask her on a date. And then when they get on the date, they're too overwhelmed to talk to her. He wants the dating committee to help facilitate neutral, no pressure dates so people can learn to have decent conversation. Quote:"Do you like facebook?"

Later in the meeting, one of the members in the stake presidency was speaking. He remarked about how he supported Bishop Monson's decision to have a dating committee. And I don't know if he meant to be funny, but the he said, "And if you're not good at talking, it's OK. In dating, some of the best ways to get to know people are through silence. You can get to know each other without talking."

The congregation burst up laughing. This is Shmalitines day in a singles ward.

After the block we had a mingle pink and red sprinkled-donuts, grapes, oranges and "wine" in fancy "glasses." There was also a table to make cards.

This is grand.

Thank you, Jesus

Merry Christmas!

This Christmas was amazing, to say the least.

I got to spend time with my lovely family (and time with them is far from over).

I had our bi-annual reunion with my elementary school buddies!

I went out and met Brian's parents, and got to spend a lot of wonderful time with him.

I gave lots of presents and got a lot more than I deserve.

I'm going on a cruise in April! To Mexico. That's pretty cool.

But this Christmas was also a bit different because my great grandma has been not doing well... and it was the first Christmas Eve in a long time when she wasn't able to come to her own Christmas Eve Party. That party is famous and such a big tradition... and she started it.

And this morning she died.

But grandma lived a long, fruitful life. She was a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother. She was a teacher and she loved to read. I will miss her, but it's all reminded me about the true meaning of Christmas anyway.

Thank you, Jesus.

-Megan

A Few of My Favorite Things!

Happy Birthday Joseph Smith!

Happy 6-month Mark Elder Hill!

Happy Christmas Adam Everyone!

Above is a Christmas miracle. You probably can't tell that that is the back of a present now, can you? You probably thought it was the front side of the wrapping paper... smooth and continuous pattern.

Nope.

That--dear readers--is the seam. It lines up perfectly with the other edge. I freakin' love wrapping presents.

'night!

-Meg

Kids!

My cousin McKay and me. We make funny faces.

Happy Sunday, all!

Every time I visit the home ward, I just fall in love with kids all over again. I love kids! I'm only 19 1/2 but I do look forward to the time when I can be a mommy.

I made a promise to myself. That when I get to be a mom, I won't complain. Ever.

I know it's got to be so tough sometimes. I bet you get worn down and discouraged often. But you know what? It's still a blessing to allow a child of God to come down to earth, get a body, and grow up in a loving family.

So while I wait for Mr. Prince Charming Right, I'm going to just love and cherish all the kiddies around me. Even when they poop and drool.

-Megan

Super Heroes

The past few days I've been thinking about super heroes..

NaTasha had an awesome super hero themed birthday party. As if I'm not nerdy enough, I went as Grammar Girl.

I think I'm going to refine my costume for Halloween. (Except I really want to be Amelia Earhart too... decisions, decisions.)

I love these girls. They are my heroes!

Cat Woman, Super Girl, Grammar Girl

The real Super Heros are serving missions right now.

Super Heroes are moms who run 5Ks with their daughters.

I ran the U of U alumni 5K. It was so tough, I'm not quite sure why. Actually, I do. I haven't exactly run very consistently the past few weeks. (I'm not being a very good super hero.)

Super Hero Fuel

I had do my geology assignment at the museum of natural history. Notice the boy wearing the BYU shirt. Hmmm....

But I learned not to judge people by their outward appearances! President Monson is amazing! (And he looks like my bishop... maybe that's because my bishop is his son?)

The General Young Women's [EDIT: Relief Society (I'm still way young at heart.)] meeting was so fantastic. I'm glad I skipped out on the game to go. I feel so blessed to know the women in the ward. I'm so thankful for Visiting Teaching. I'm so glad I'm a daughter of God.

I am so happy.

And a letter is coming... I can feel it. Any day. Any day. (He just passed his 3-month mark!)

-Meg

Count Your Blessings!

Hola! I have the urge to write in Spanish, but I'm not even close to being competent enough.

Today is a happy Tuesday! My classes were alright. Choir was fantastic, as usual. That always ends too quickly.

Right now I'm working at The Chronicle. So ya, that's a hint to check it out. We're pretty much the best student paper out there. But I'm not bragging or anything.

I ran on the indoor track today at the field house. It was so refreshing to just run and run and run until I could hardly go any longer! I didn't keep track of time or distance. I was simply running because I can. I am lucky to have a body that can be mobile and working. That is a blessing I don't want to take for granted.

Another blessing: I will be able to pay my tuition bill all by myself. No student loans, and only a little scholarship. I'm proud of myself. All that hard work really paid off!

Another blessing: Institute is so uplifting. I'm taking two classes, and I don't regret that for a second. My LDS history class is so inspiration and informative I just might retake it! And Book of Mormon is just a classic feel-good class.

Anyway, today I feel especially blessed, and I just had to share with the world! Life is good! The good Lord loves me! And He loves you too!

-Meg

5 year old prayer

"...And please bless us that we can all get baptized, and go to the temple and get married someday. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I went to my home ward today and the primary presidency needed my help with one particularly large class.

The colored pictures. They climbed on chairs. The boys took off their ties. The girls lifted up their skirts above their heads. They were wonderful.

I was so tired after that class! But oh, how I want kiddies of my own someday!

-Meg

Serve, Love, Work

Church church church! Always makes me feel better!

This brother from our high counsel spoke. He was really old; he had white hair. I loved his talk! Not going to lie, at times it is nice to have an older speaker in the singles' ward. He was so sweet, and I've decided I want to marry a man like him. I want to grow old with someone like that.

My grade might not be so dire; my professor is showing some mercy.

After work, I'm headed off to this place :

See y'all later, and wish me luck that the Kamas library will have internet so I can get my homework in!

-Megan

Out of Nowhere-- A Curious Declaration of Love

Oh look, it's 12:07 a.m. Not a bad time, actually, but late enough that I can write a great blog post.

So I saw Elder Hill for the last time. His farewell was amazing! He is such a good public speaker, and his testimony is so clear and simple. "God just wants to talk to us so badly! He's just waiting for us!" He loves talking about God's love. He also talked about his own father.

Ah I love that kid. I really do. But saying "I love you" seems weird, because it's more than anything romantic or twitter-pated. It's a deep, abiding love of the purest sort. It's a caring love. I want the very best for him, oh so much. I don't know how to explain how I love him... this all sounds so horribly cheesy and it just falls so short of what I really mean to say.

Let me try this way: I heard a quote once, "Anyone you truly know, you love." Well, I feel like I truly love Elder Hill because I truly know him. I know his weaknesses, his strengths, his quirks, everything... He is not perfect, he's just Paul. I mean, Elder Hill.

Holy Whoa, I did not intend to write all that about my love for him! Where did that come from? Well inside of me, I guess. And, as you have well figured out by now, I don't really delete things, even though I should. So that proclamation of devotion was unexpected... Sorry, dear readers. I try so hard not be sappy and cliche, but it just happens sometimes.

I really wanted to just tell the world that I am so happy. I am so happy. I am happy. I thought I would be upset and wallowing in a tragic pit of tears, but I'm not. Mind you, I have cried. I have been sad, and nervous. But I have been overcome with a deep sense of peace. I am sad, but it’s a happy sort of sad.

All my emotional space is filled with this peace. The sadness and fear and loneliness are still inside me, but they aren’t as real. They’re nothing more than a slight coloring of the calm inside of me.

I know it may seem strange that I’m talking about emotions like this. I can’t help it. I find it so curious that my feelings are not the center fiber of myself right now. I’m used to them consuming my whole existence.

All I can say is that I feel God's love in my life every day. I do not know the end, but I know it's going to be okay! Everything is the way it should be.

-Megan

** Story behind the picture ** I was lining up to get my picture with the popular Elder Hill. So I go to stand next to him, and before I know it, he's picking me up! Talk about lover's leap! That made me really giddy. (Ah, I'm such a girl...)

A Random Island in the Pacific...

"I think the mailmen opened it up. They must have really wanted to know. That's why it took so long to get here." He says as his hands tremble. He's opening his mission call with his dad's pocket knife.

Four cell phones are on speaker phone. About 10 people from the ward are gathered in the common room of the dorm.

When we asked my sister to guess where he was going, Adriana said: "Some random island in the pacific."

He finally pulls out the letter. He laughs and puts his hand to his face in amazement.

"...you have hearby been called to labor in the Fiji Suva Mission..."

Everyone erupts in screams, gasps, and claps.

Only an hour before, a different audience was applauding. Paul sings in the University of Utah singers, and they performed Rachmaninoff's "All Night Vigil." But for two years, he's going to leave the life of performing and practicing. He's going to serve the people in Fiji.

I'm so proud of him. He has been my friend for a very long time. I will miss him so much, but I'd be being selfish if I kept him here. (As if I could). The people of Fiji need his goodness! To see how excited he was was such a joy. I know he is so ready to go.

As soon he could, Paul started looking up facts about Fiji. They have a temple there! He'll speak Fijian. He leaves June 23rd and after three months in the MTC, he'll head to the islands of endless summer, white beaches, palm trees, and clear blue water. (He won't be swimming in it though).

Conference I love

Conference was AMAZING! I went with Lexi my BFF from the nether regions of the Uintah Basin. We went to Sunday morning session. I love being a member of this church. I love seeing 21,000 Mormons all in one place! I love hearing the prophet and the apostles speak. I love feeling the spirit. I love singing the hymns. I love temple square.

If you want to know more about LDS general conference, click here.

The Church of Jesus Christ in 180 years old today! God loves His children; we are all his children.

We woke up way early so we could be at the conference center in time for music and the spoken word. My family was also in the audience!

-Meg

Roosevelt

I'd never heard of Roosevelt Utah until the start of the school year. I met two amazing friends from the little down in the corner of Eastern Utah. Spencer is going on a mission, so some SLC friends and I took a day long road trip down.

This is Spencer-- or Elder Wallace I should say. He'll be serving the Lord in Quito Ecuador. He's so friendly and sweet, no body will be able to turn him down! His testimony is amazing. Elder W enters the Missionary Training Center today. He will be missed. These are my friends and me at the Moqui Indian statue. Pretty much the only tourist attraction in Roosevelt.


This is me and Lexi.
She's from Neola, which is another little town by Roosevelt. I miss her!

-Megan

Semester 2, sans Choir

Two days of my second semester of college: complete. They were pretty painless and easy going, I’m really grateful.

But something is missing—and it’s a big deal. I’m not in choir.

This is not my choice; in fact, I would do anything to have it. Well, I guess not anything. My major just conflicts with music. Music isn’t my top priority, but it’s up there. It keeps me alive.
My Linguistics 3510 class conflicts with not only Women’s Chorus, but with A Capella as well, which is the choir a level higher, but still something I could handle. I can’t do either one. I can’t do Institute Singers either, because they meet at the same time.

I can’t even be in my Ward Choir, because that meets the same time as mission preparation, and as part of my calling I have to go.

Ever since about 5th grade, I’ve been in some type of choir. There was a break in 7th grade, but I was taking voice lessons at that point so I was still singing.

I love writing, but the process of it is quite solitary. It is the path I have chosen, but there is no choir of writers to shelter me or welcome me into their loving arms. There is no bond, no family of people united in a common love. There is no one to make me lift me and assure me I am needed. Writers don’t do that. We wander alone with our notepads, trying to make life an understandable fantasy. We explain things, we make up stories, and we imagine things and record them. It is a beautiful art because it is one of communication. But we are not together. We need one another only so one can read another’s work.

I will miss choir, but I intend to do it again. I’ll be surviving without singing, or playing piano.

Side note: I promise I’ll stop complaining, but this is weird. I have two classes that seem almost identical in my head and it makes me confused! Linguistics 3510 and Writing 2010. We even use the same textbook! This makes me even more enraged because I don’t need the linguistics class if my writing class is teaching me the same things…
Anyway, I love school and I love college. I was really meant to be here, and I realize that even more now that I’m here.

With love,

-M

PS- Like the new backdrop of the blog? I hope so!

PPS- I watched "Doubt" recently. Amazing show, the intensity and power makes me shiver with delight. Just thought I'd throw that out there.