words I'm hating right now

ethnic hair--people use this, thinking it's a PC way to say "non-Caucasian hair." They don't understand the definition of ethnicity, obviously, because since everyone has an ethnicity, we must all have ethnic hair.

exciting--everything is exciting. I hate how much I use this word. My toast and my wedding are exciting. This is not OK.They should not be on the same level.

gnat--the silent G is annoying. How fitting.

hopefully--because it should mean "full of hope" but instead means "I hope."

just--a terrible, useless filler. I still just don't know exactly what it is supposed to mean.

loading--computers' favorite word, unfortunately.

maybe--answers everything and solves nothing. I use it all the time because I don't plan my life like I ought.

mega--it's like my name, but not.

overwhelming--it's creepy how is sounds so much like what it means. It's long, it's hard to spell, and there's a sigh built in for your convenience.

pissed--just think about the two meanings, and how they're connected and it's terrible.

product--ubiquitous and vague, and I feel obligated to use it all the time.

screw--crude, weird, and twisted


snarky--sounds like one is saying "sparky" whilst gnawing

slip up--too figurative, too silly for something that's not silly.

soothe--sounds eerie, and like so many others on this list, it's everywhere

tits--sounds like it should be a type of bug. And of course, it's vulgar and immature. I hate hearing this everywhere.

vender/vendor--frustrating to spell

very--it means about as much as a politician's promises

zit--for nasty. Why do nasty things have to have nasty names, too.

In which the bridal/groomal photoshoot goes swimmingly

Yesterday I had my bridals done.

It was fun, but the whole day leading up to it was so stressful. I spent the whole day getting ready, and I think that wasn't healthy. I was stressed out because I was building up to the climatic moment for hours and hours and nit-picking myself.

Sam met me at This is The Place park that evening. We decided to do our bridals and groomals together so we wouldn't be as stressed on the actual wedding day (which is in one month!). We'll still be taking plenty of pictures on July 12, but it feels good to know we have plenty of pictures of us together already. Our photographer suggested we do a "reveal" AKA a first look. I was a little worried it would be cheesy, but it actually was pretty fun!

The moment I was with Sam, everything felt better. I felt more relaxed and just excited to be with him. Taking pictures was so fun, especially since we were all dressed up in our wedding garb. 

I don't have the actual pictures yet, but here's a little teaser. My mom took this when I had to hike up my dress to go through some touch terrain.

-Meg

Hired

On Monday, I was discouraged, frustrated and overwhelmed about life. I was still jobless, the wedding was approaching, which meant items on the to-do list were piling on faster than we were checking them off. 

Tuesday, I sent in an application to a job, and I heard back from the company later that day! The speed of the response was amazing.

First of all, I've applied at a lot of places, and most companies have an electronic application system. Many times, it takes a lot of time to fill it all out, and they ask for detailed information. I wouldn't have a problem with devoting so much time to a application if I knew it would materialize to something. But usually, the application just disappears into cyberspace and one never hears from the company again. I was lucky if I got an email saying they'd received my application. Usually there is no one listed to call to follow up, and sometimes they request not to call at all! There were so many frustrations.

But this application was different because it was simple, and a real person emailed me back the same day! I did some writing exercises and got feedback almost immediately. I went in for an interview on Thursday and Friday they called me and offered me the position. It all happened so fast.

I'm thrilled because I get to write every single day. There are a lot of other tasks associated with the job, but it's mostly copy writing. It's close to where Sam and I are going to be living, too. The people at the company were so nice; I was impressed with the whole office when I went in for the interview.

This is something I've been praying for. I just wanted an opportunity to do something--anything! When I thought about jobs I really wanted, I knew I liked editing, writing and teaching. But I also knew that there were probably a lot of other jobs that I didn't even know existed that I would be qualified for. Like this job. When I read the job description, I knew it was something I could do. I just didn't realize that it was an actual thing. I'll be writing the product descriptions for beauty products and doing other marketing duties.

For the record, I found the job on KSL classifieds online. I spent a lot of time on that website, and it's easy to use. I had plenty of duds there too, but if you're looking for a job, I'd say it's a good place to start.

I'm so thankful for all the people who helped me with job leads, and gave me career and resume advice. I know I was probably cranky and stressed a lot because of my joblessness, but everyone put up with me and loved me anyway.

I'm still working on figuring out some freelancing options to help supplement this job, but even if they don't work out, we'll be fine. I feel so blessed. God is so merciful.

-Megan

Adorable

You think flat-faced cats aren't cute? Well then.

BTW, if anyone know the name for the breed of this cat, or if it's even real, please let me know. That would be appreciated. Not that Sam would ever let me get a cat anyway.

Speaking

Sam and I are different. Crazy, I know. I love it, though.

I noticed our glorious differences a lot this weekend, especially Sunday. Friday night we were asked to speak just that Sunday! Some good friends of mine needed us to fill in to speak. In LDS wards, members from the congregation are called to speak and are usually give about a few weeks notice, but the scheduled speakers fell through. Sam and I were happy to jump in and speak, even though we didn't have much time to prepare.

When I speak, I'm kind of bold and direct. I sometimes tell personal stories, but I like to talk really loud and gesticulate. My talks are usually declaratory things, almost like a statement or creed. Usually I just write an outline, but this time I wrote out my talk word for word. I enjoyed the time to think out my word choice and more easily integrate my quotes and scriptures with my own words. 

Sam, on the other hand, approaches speaking differently. He is more soft-spoken, and he is gentle about his message. He is humble and isn't afraid to talk about his own life and experiences. He is honest and speaks slowly and clearly. He went from an outline this time, and let himself go with the flow of the spirit.

I'm glad we're so different. As I was watching him speak, I was filled with so much love. I'm so proud of him. I'm happy he's a blue personality and I'm a red. I'm glad that our differences don't cause contention. And on the things that count, we're similar. For instance, we both like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and OJ with lots of pulp. You know, the important things.

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In other news, Memorial Day weekend was delightful. We went to the airshow, got some wedding stuff done, spoke in church, and went to the cabin. It was Sam's first time at our cabin, and it was so fun to show him around.

We dropped Lindsey off at camp. She's a counselor at a camp for girls. She'll be spending the whole summer there, but gets to come home on weekends. I miss her already.

Now it's back to looking for jobs and planning a wedding. It is a stressful time, but I have my family and Sam to help me through.

-Meg

Grey Goops

"Grey goop" means a lot of text without anything to break it up. This is a bad thing in the design world. Pictures are wonderful because they are a visual element among all the words. Words are boring things. Pictures are not. Pictures are exciting, and one can digest them quickly.

I like pictures. I'm glad people take pictures. As a designer, I'm so happy pictures exist. I love designing with huge pictures.

But as a writer, and a woman, I sort of hate them.

Sometimes I'll write these long, lovely things, (at least I think they're lovely) and I think about them a lot. I think they're funny. I try to get all the grammar right. I try to be witty and funny and profound.

But when I show the finished product to someone -- whether it's a blog post or a book or a scrapbook page -- I get complemented on the picture or graphic. It's nice to be complemented on anything. But the picture was just there to draw the reader in. I know from a fact my blog posts with pictures get way more views than ones without. I'd just hope that the picture helped the reader actually find interesting content to read.

As a woman, I get fed up with the visual taking over everything. I like getting complemented on the way I look. It's nice to feel beautiful. And often people saying those nice things don't really know me, so the only thing they have to say is about how I look. But how I look isn't what is important about me. Fashion is fun, but it's not my substance. I just feel despair sometimes because I feel that's all anyone cares about. It is all anyone has to say, and I know it's because they have nothing else to say about me so they have to say something about my hair, or my outfit or my shoes. One day soon I'll be really ugly, and I might wear really ugly clothes, and then what? What will people say to me when they have nothing to say? Will they lie? I don't know.

I'd rather be complemented on my writing, or my college degree, or how I'm really hilarious or good at Scrabble or something. Or maybe not complemented at all! I love it when people just listen to me and talk to me about interesting stuff. I like when people read my "grey goop." That is the greatest complement of all.

Because it is hard to feel confident. I'm looking for a job and it is stressful. I'm trying to remain positive and hopeful, but it doesn't help when all everyone seems to talk about to me is just how I look. Because how I look doesn't help me get a job or help me feel important or useful. It's just a nice thing, like dessert. It isn't essential.

I don't even consider myself that pretty. I'm alright with that. I'm glad I have a working body and I'm content with the way I am. Most of the time I'd like to think beauty is irrelevant, but I know deep down that to the world, it's one of the most important things. I don't want to give into that shallowness, but at the same time, I have acknowledged that it's a good thing to dress up and look cute so people notice you. So that maybe, someone will be drawn in and read the grey goop: the interesting stuff that just looks boring.

So this is a test. How many people will read this post despite having no picture? (In the bloggersphere, pictureless posts are almost unheard of.) How many people care about what I think? I know not many, but I find comfort knowing that there are a few people out there, like my family and Sam, who do listen to my opinions, my thoughts, my worries, and my dreams. I think it's alright to talk about things besides muffins, parties, and cute hairdos on blogs. I want to talk about deep things, even if it's not as flashy or fun.

Thanks for reading my grey goop.

-Meg

Hobo day

Do you remember hobo day at school? What? What do you mean your elementary school wasn't cool enough to have hobo day? (or as my mom would say, your school wasn't insensitive enough to society's ills to have a hobo day?)

My mom would not let me dress as a bum and take my lunch to school in a scarf tied around a stick, let alone dress in rags. I know, my mom was so cruel. She told me it was rude to make fun of other's misfortune.

But mom, there were schools in the south still having  race-segregated proms and you're throwing a stink about hobo day? The homeless had no idea we were dressing like them for a day during spirit week. They wouldn't care anyway, right?

It was raising awareness, after all. Until spirit week, I hadn't even thought about homeless people for probably a month! Now I was going to experience that life for myself.

All my friends were dressing up as hobos. Their parents didn't care. But I don't think I even tried that one on my mom.

So that day at school, we all sat on the floor to eat lunch. This is true. Everyone else was cool and dressed like bums. Kids were wearing fake beards and dirt and stuff. They went all out. And I was uncool because I was wearing leggings or some other trendy nineties wear, eating my lunch from the cafeteria kitchen on a styrophome tray.

Looking back, I guess it was a bit strange that my school had a hobo day. Actually, a lot of the themed days were odd. They all have to do with wearing things, usually. 




Wear school colors day -- seems innocent enough, but I there are the undertones of a fascist regime.

Wear your favorite sports team jersey -- I think this is just asking for teachers to pick favorites. I mean , I'll be honest, I'd just never look at a student the same if he came to my class wearing a BYU jersey. Better to just keep these alliances private, for the safety of everyone.

Twin day -- Way to feel isolated. What if you don't have a best friend to wear the same thing as you? Or worse, what if you do have a friend but she doesn't have any matching as you? Even if you do have a friend, it's difficult to call and plan or whatever to be twins with each other. It just takes a lot of coordination and communication skills that elementary schoolers don't have. Maybe that's what the administration as trying to foster? We may never know.

Crazy hair day -- AKA parent's nightmare. When my future kids tell me it's crazy hair day, I'm going to make them wear wigs or something. I'm not putting gallons of gel into my kids' hair to mold it around intricately shaped wire. I know from experience. My own locks have never quite recovered from the horrors of this day in high school. (And I'm pretty sure it was Paul's doing.)

Pajama day -- is everyday at Wal-mart, so there's no reason why this needs to be a day in school.

Super hero day -- it's cool if you're into super heroes, I guess. I think until I saw "The Avengers," the only super hero movie I ever made it through was "Spider Man." I just don't get them or enjoy them. But it's fun for some people, although I think the costumes might be cumbersome in a learning environment.

Injury day -- This is marginalizing injured people, but I suppose this day could serve a wise and glorious purpose. It's a great way to test if the school building is really ADA compliant when you have six kids in "wheelchairs." But then you have kids whose writing hand is "broken." And what if you have a kid who shows up claiming to have "mental trauma?" 



May  I propose some new themed spirit days?

Speak your own language day -- to encourage linguistic expression

School uniform day -- "be grateful this isn't permanent, kids."

Everything's a musical day -- it works on "Arthur" so there's no reason it shouldn't work in real life.

Pretend there was a huge earthquake day -- I know Utah had that big drill a few weeks ago, but we were terrible at pretending there was a disaster. No hiding under tables, no blood, no screaming and running from "crumbling" buildings. Come on, people. Elementary school kids could do way better than this.

Pop day -- oh wait, this was real. When I moved to my new elementary school , this was a weekly event. It was 75 cents in the teachers lounge.  Before you judge harshly, realize it was a different time back then.

-Meg