Salmon Cakes

I knew I there had to be a reason I stayed up late:

I call it the Matthew Chain.

Today was a good day, full of running, gardening, organizing, and taking over the world. But today also included cooking Salmon Cakes.

Not successful.

My mom will tell you they tasted wonderful, and maybe they did. She's probably just saying that because she's my mom and she has to.

The salmon cakes I had were drenched in cilantro dressing, so I couldn't taste them, not like I can taste much anyway. I opened the new bottle of dressing, and by accident I poured too much on.
This are they. Disgusting-looking, I know. My mom makes them much more beautifully.
This is the one that fell apart. Putting it on the Harry Potter plate slightly redeemed it.
The corn was boiling. This was at the height of my anxiety. I'm trying to make cakes out of mushed up salmon, mayo, and breadcrumbs, so my hands are messy and gloppy, and the water's boiling over the pot, and I'm trying to remember which cakes have been on the pan the longest and which ones need to be turned over... [I do not like cooking].

-just little old me(g)

5 year old prayer

"...And please bless us that we can all get baptized, and go to the temple and get married someday. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I went to my home ward today and the primary presidency needed my help with one particularly large class.

The colored pictures. They climbed on chairs. The boys took off their ties. The girls lifted up their skirts above their heads. They were wonderful.

I was so tired after that class! But oh, how I want kiddies of my own someday!

-Meg

Much Ado about Shakespeare

Dear Shakespeare,

I love you. I love that you never ONCE say "There are no words to describe how I feel." You always have words.

But you left me more than words.

You left me people. I see myself up there, reflected in those characters and I that frightens me but I don't care. I give the actors the credit they deserve, but you are the one who wrote them there. You gave them people and places to interpret.

You make me miss Elder Hill. Oh, he is Benedick. Benedick is he! I was doing so well at hiding and suppressing everything. I was distracting and stiffening myself until I saw Benedick and Beatrice and Shylock and Pip and Biddy and Portia. Now I'm an emotional catastrophe. I'm emotional and romantic. I watched 2 chick flicks today! (Actually they were rather dull and utterly boring compared to your work, but, after all, romance comes in all colors.)

"Serve God, love me, and mend"

"Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humor? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married."

There are many more quotes, and I will find them as I reread this play. I am sappy and romantic and tired. And there are shooting stars that are all the easier to see in all the darkness of the country.

-Megan

Tomorrow the Adventure Begins

I'm headed off to the Utah Shakespearean Festival tomorrow.

Heaven =

Pride and Prejudice is sold out, but I still have hope that we can find tickets. Because I want to see the two gentlemen above.

The other plays are going to be amazing too. I can't wait!

-Megan

If Essays were Babies...

It was one of those days that didn't start at all.

I was still some sort of conscious at 3 a.m. working on my essays, the memories of the evening earlier fuzzy in my memory.

I finally got to my page limit, (barely) sent my essays off to my mother to be edited in a few hours. I crawled into bed and fell into a fitful rest.

I awoke seven hours later to my phone going off. My mom texts me and tells me she's ready to go over my essays with me. They are due today at one.

I stumble upstairs to grab the house phone, because something's wrong with my cell phone's speaker, and whenever I talk in it it sounds really muffled to the person on the other end. Besides, I don't get reception in the basement.

But the power's out.

I stumble back down stairs, put on a bra and some jeans, shove all my school paraphernalia in my back pack. My laptop's battery is almost spent and can't go more than 20 minutes without being plugged in, and besides, I need the internet.

I grab a protein bar and capri-sun and dash over to the library. Even though I try to find a secluded spot (that's near a plug), I'm not totally out of earshot of the other library patrons. I call my mom and she offers suggestions, but whenever I try to respond, she can't hear me. I try yelling as much as I can, but she keeps going, and there a times when I need clarification, or I just need her to slow down so I have chances to fix errors.

It's not working. She can't hear me and I don't dare raise my voice in the library. I'm really tired and when I'm tired I get really emotional and so I start crying. Like full out crying in the library. I hardly care that I look uber pathetic: absolutely no make-up, a disgusting bun, glasses, a t-shirt. And I'm bawling.

I hang up and rush outside. I can yell out there, but I look around for one of those out door plug things and I can't find one. (I swear they're everywhere until you need one!)

Out of necessity I collect myself and call my mom. I can yell and not disrupt people, but my battery has limited juice and the sun is so bright. I try adjusting the brightness, but nothing works. My screen is just too shimmery. I move to the shade. No luck. I put my laptop on the bench and kneel down and lower the screen. I look stupid, but it works for a few minutes.

All the while my mom is telling me stuff I need to fix and stuff she thinks I can add to more safely manage my page-limit. I'm trying to focus and stay calm, but I see the green battery icon rapidly slimming down.

So I hang up again (it sounds rude, but she can barely hear me anyway). I waddle over to the Union as the tower clock strikes 11, only to find that my ordinary floor is undergoing some renovation, of course. I wander around frantically and finally spot a table near a plug! It's right by the men's bathroom, but sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven.

I resume my conversation with my mother, and after working for another hour, it's complete! Both of them! You know, writing an essay is kind of like having kids, and I just gave birth two twins. What labor!

I look back and wonder what I could have done better-- the copy editor in my nags that it didn't check enough. I should have read through just one more time. But I can't look back. I can't stop. I'm not out of the woods.

I eat Chinese food to lighten my mood. I'm exhausted, so I catch a shuttle because I'm lazy, even though it's actually shorter to walk... but the driver must be asleep because we don't take off for what feels like forever and so I decide to walk anyway.

The moment I step off the bus it takes off. Wonderful.

At work I'm told it's my last day. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm confused about how I feel about people there.

This whole day I've had a hope inside me that a letter will be waiting for me-- a triumphant reward for the crazy past few days.

No letter.

But scrabble with one of my best friends! And a party with my beloved family!

(The real party was last night-- my grandparent's 50th anniversary celebration. More on that to come.)

I still have a final to take. One last one.

And then I'm off to the Shakespearean Festival! Rapture in my soul!

Study Day

Study pad:

Study cards:
Study hair and study glasses:

Study tunes:
Study cursive:

Study toast:
Study fuel:
Study storm:
Study rain:
Study flower:

and in the end, I realized that a final for another class was due today, and I forgot to do it. So I turned it in an hour late. I suck at life sometimes. I set aside an ENTIRE day to study and work on homework, and yet I still can't get it right. I obviously don't use a planner enough, and the stress having a job and trying to be on my own is too much. I want to do it all, but instead I fail at like everything!

I know this is so depressing. I'm just down on myself. I keep messing up. I don't want to fail! I keep trying but I'm just not good enough right now! It's late, and I need to sleep. Tomorrow (today) is a big day.

And I really need to post about my dating life, because that has been interesting! But I'm not quite sure how to do it. I feel guilty that I am dating when I really should be a slave to my school work, but I have had some fantastic dates recently! I love boys!

But anyway, I'm signing off. Megan is sad and disappointed herself, but she knows things will work out in the end. Some nights are just hard.

Sleep tight, readers. Stay in school. Don't miss your finals. Don't do drugs.

Yours truly,

Meg

[Title here] Megan

Titles I currently have:Titles I would like to have someday:

Obviously I've been thinking a lot about titles. Actually, I'm realizing that this is not a recent topic to have been dwelt upon by me. Take my obsession with names. Hmmm. What things are called is important to me. Everything must have a title, must have a label! And what is mine?

-just little old me(g)